SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you somemilk.
FASCISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you somemilk.
NAZISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milksthe other, and then throws the milk away…
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herdmultiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM:
You have two giraffes. The government requires you totake harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other toproduce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why thecow has dropped dead. Then you invade another country with heaps of cows, killthousands of their citizens, because you just want to help the citizens ????
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell three of them to yourpublicly listed company using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-lawat the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offerso that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. Themilk rights of the six cows are tranferred via an intermediary to a CaymanIsland Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rightsto all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the companyowns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a newpresident of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheetprovided with the release. The public buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot andblock the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they areone-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. Youthen create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market itworldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows but you don’t know where they are. Youdecide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have fivecows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again andlearn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows because you’re sobering up andopen another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. Youcharge the owners for storing them.
A CHINA CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. Youclaim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity, and arrestthe newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.
IRAQI CORPORATION:
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them thatyou have none. No-one believes you, sothey bomb the shit out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows,but at least now you are part of a Democracy….
AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You closethe office and go for a few beers.
NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive
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